collegehumor:

Too Much Slip, Not Enough Slide
Never grow up? She’ll be lucky if she can get up.

collegehumor:

Too Much Slip, Not Enough Slide

Never grow up? She’ll be lucky if she can get up.

pleasefireme:

Please fire me. Yesterday I had to scan an entire book (300 pages) and email it to one of my bosses. Today, he told me that he accidentally deleted the email and needs me to do it again.

digg:

WHY CANT I STOP WATCHING THIS

(via wired)

cracked:

"I…uh…was it in the Daily Prophet?”

The Greatest Harry Potter Sequel We’ll Never Get to See

tastefullyoffensive:

Sleeping With a Dog on Your Bed [turnidoff]

cracked:

There’s no disguise so nefarious as a blue vest.
4 Idiotically Easy Ways People Faked Their Own Identities

#4. Teen Claims to Be Walmart Manager, Walks Off With $30,000
For most people, getting fired from a Walmart is a bittersweet moment — bitter because you’ve lost a means of income, and sweet because you don’t work at Walmart anymore. For one 17-year-old from Oklahoma, it was an opportunity to show up at another Walmart in his old uniform, go to work at the register, and walk off with $3,000. Noticing that nobody even questioned who he was, he dared to dream bigger: He went to a second Walmart, claimed to be “a manager from another store,” and asked to “inspect” their money.

Read More

Because yes.

cracked:

There’s no disguise so nefarious as a blue vest.

4 Idiotically Easy Ways People Faked Their Own Identities

#4. Teen Claims to Be Walmart Manager, Walks Off With $30,000

For most people, getting fired from a Walmart is a bittersweet moment — bitter because you’ve lost a means of income, and sweet because you don’t work at Walmart anymore. For one 17-year-old from Oklahoma, it was an opportunity to show up at another Walmart in his old uniform, go to work at the register, and walk off with $3,000. Noticing that nobody even questioned who he was, he dared to dream bigger: He went to a second Walmart, claimed to be “a manager from another store,” and asked to “inspect” their money.

Read More

Because yes.

stand-up-comic-gifs:

He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)

(via nightpool42)

tastefullyoffensive:

How the dinosaurs really went extinct. [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

How the dinosaurs really went extinct. [x]